im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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