So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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