If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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