Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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