So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Your cock deserves a montage
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
