he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
