whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize