Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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