just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
