So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
