Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
