He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
