umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
