Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I accidentally burped into my bong.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
