We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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