I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
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I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I think I sprained my soul last night
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
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She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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