Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We need to rekindle our bromance
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
