Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
