just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
