is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
