i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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