So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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