You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
