i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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