The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
