What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
