Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
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Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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