Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
