Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
