You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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