If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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