Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
