think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
