I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
