can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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