I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
