So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Its about making memories worth repressing
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
