I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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