I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I supernannyed him into submission
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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