we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
