Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
