u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
