Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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