I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
