why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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