My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
