this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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