i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We were destined to go to rehab together
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
My vagina just clenched in fear
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
