I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
