the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
