I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
