based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out