I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
