that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
