Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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