I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
