Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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