how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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