he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
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