census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
