You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
