overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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