i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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