I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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